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- Anyone plain can be lovely... -
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
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I got to thinking about something this evening on the way home. Somewhere along the way in my short life, I've gotten to the point where I don't really care what people say about how I look.
For much of my life, I've been obese for my age and have been the butt of so many jokes. They used to really get to me. I mean, when you're in junior high and high school, and people find it funny telling you, "Hey, he likes you!" and you can see some not-great-looking guy essentially say, "Aw, hell no!" to his cronies. You get used to it when your own mother, after finding out that a guy showed interest in you, says, "I don't know how any boy could like you with how you look." For so many years, that affected me, and I thought the only way I could feel any worth was if some guy was into me. And that got me into so much hurt, you know? I ended up having relationships with two immature boys who caused me more heartbreak than needed.
So yeah, the fat jokes keep coming, and I just keep saying, "Whatever" to them. Nothing can affect me much anymore. When you've been jeered, lied to, beaten, and belittled by peers and family alike, it just doesn't matter. I know I'm worth so much more than what a person sees on the outside. And some people will recognize that...some already do.
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